Loveless but Happy

We must learn to be happy without love.

and in spite of it.


~ Love in the Time of Cholera (movie)

and when the night falls....

...my lonely heart calls.


oh, i wanna dance with somebody.
i wanna feel the heat with somebody.
yeah, i wanna dance with somebody.


with somebody who loves me.


la lang. LSS. hayy.

Indecent Proposal

it feels like an epoch since i last felt sexual.

but when i received my second carnal proposal for the year from yet a different source, i was left disconcerted and incredulous.

casual encounters have never floated my boat. though i might have "rowed" other boats and "rocked" them too one time or another in a distant past that has become quite a blur.

but when i politely refused yet again... this time i started to second guess myself..

have i been reduced from being saucy to being sedate?

am i now dowdy and more alarmingly....frigid?

why do i still exude the allure, the elusiveness of a woman ready to be taken when i never expected to feel neither passion nor lust ever again?

my mind is filled with these questions but my body is telling me one thing...

i am desirable. still.

time will come.

and so will i.


heehee ;p

happy birthday to you..

happy birthday, to the love of my life as yet.

we don't talk anymore, i know. i'd love to greet you today but i won't.

i'm sure you understand. i'm sure you know why.

but in my own little way...and inside my own secret world...

i wish you a very happy birthday.

i gave you pieces of myself that i would never want back.

be happy today.. and everyday.

happy birthday to me!

i felt 8,000 years old.

but i felt loved and cherished too.

i forgot how family and friends could make my day.

slices of cake. a cute shirt. a black wrist watch. a chance encounter with an old crush. a new movie buddy. perpetual drinking buddies. a carnal proposal.

my birthday was all that and more. :)

Ready Again?

i was listening to a love song early this morning and it suddenly struck me...

i want this.

i want to feel this.

i need to feel love in my life again.

after 6 months of overcoming grief and loss... after 6 months of being alone and re-discovering myself...

i find that i can be happy on my own.. and, yes, i am ready to be happy with someone else.

i am ready to love with a heart that's been broken and made whole again.

i am ready to be loved in return and to let someone in.

i am ready to once again take the risk of being rejected and undergoing heartache.

i am complete. i am whole. finally.

and i am ready.

2008

happy new year, my dear reader...

don't have the luxury for some r&r this holiday season...

haven't got time to reflect about last year... the hardships and the truimphs..

not even have a single new year's resolution in mind yet...

have to go to work.. the vampire lifestyle beckons.

will be back soon.

need to start writing again...