Indecent Proposal

it feels like an epoch since i last felt sexual.

but when i received my second carnal proposal for the year from yet a different source, i was left disconcerted and incredulous.

casual encounters have never floated my boat. though i might have "rowed" other boats and "rocked" them too one time or another in a distant past that has become quite a blur.

but when i politely refused yet again... this time i started to second guess myself..

have i been reduced from being saucy to being sedate?

am i now dowdy and more alarmingly....frigid?

why do i still exude the allure, the elusiveness of a woman ready to be taken when i never expected to feel neither passion nor lust ever again?

my mind is filled with these questions but my body is telling me one thing...

i am desirable. still.

time will come.

and so will i.


heehee ;p

happy birthday to you..

happy birthday, to the love of my life as yet.

we don't talk anymore, i know. i'd love to greet you today but i won't.

i'm sure you understand. i'm sure you know why.

but in my own little way...and inside my own secret world...

i wish you a very happy birthday.

i gave you pieces of myself that i would never want back.

be happy today.. and everyday.

happy birthday to me!

i felt 8,000 years old.

but i felt loved and cherished too.

i forgot how family and friends could make my day.

slices of cake. a cute shirt. a black wrist watch. a chance encounter with an old crush. a new movie buddy. perpetual drinking buddies. a carnal proposal.

my birthday was all that and more. :)

Ready Again?

i was listening to a love song early this morning and it suddenly struck me...

i want this.

i want to feel this.

i need to feel love in my life again.

after 6 months of overcoming grief and loss... after 6 months of being alone and re-discovering myself...

i find that i can be happy on my own.. and, yes, i am ready to be happy with someone else.

i am ready to love with a heart that's been broken and made whole again.

i am ready to be loved in return and to let someone in.

i am ready to once again take the risk of being rejected and undergoing heartache.

i am complete. i am whole. finally.

and i am ready.

2008

happy new year, my dear reader...

don't have the luxury for some r&r this holiday season...

haven't got time to reflect about last year... the hardships and the truimphs..

not even have a single new year's resolution in mind yet...

have to go to work.. the vampire lifestyle beckons.

will be back soon.

need to start writing again...

Gregory House's Greatest Moment ;p

We can all applaud the doctor who's willing to break all the rules. But the real hero is the unsung doctor, toiling in anonymity, because he broke the rules without getting caught. I need to know you have these skills.


I need you to bring me the THONG of Lisa Cuddy.


Not kidding. Thong. Cuddy. Go.


hahahahahahahah!!!!!!!!

Breaking Free

Peel these cobwebs
From my heart
So I may
Feel whole again

Let hurt consume me
Ravage
Break
Destroy
Me
So I may laugh again

Bleed my mind
Of hate
Resentments
Anger
Mistrusts
So I may run naked
And free
In the rain
To celebrate life

Watch my chest
Heave
And shiver
With scream
As I tear free
The bars
Holding captive
My heart

I am
Not hiding
Anymore