cannot.

tonight i learned that you had a girlfriend.

after three months i finally understood why you act the way you do...why you always have an excuse for not being with me.

it hurts. yes...of course..

but at my age i've already been through a lot....i've experienced bigger and greater pain than this....

no biggie, that's what i keep saying to myself.

i just wish i could've learned sooner, you know?

maybe i might've stopped myself for feeling anything more than what is right...

doomed.

you are mine five days a week.

i look forward to seeing you each morning. i fret when you are about to leave at the end of the day.

i rub elbows with you many times in a span of one week.

we shout with laughter...we snicker mischievously...we whisper private jokes....we curse the people who make our life hell.

we go from flirting outrageously to working like mad dogs the next minute.

everything is going well except for one little thing.

i'm falling for you.

secretly....i'm hoping you can be mine seven days a week. plus the nights too.


somebody, kill me now. please.

traffic siguro....

nasaan ka na?

traffic ba?


ang tagal mo naman dumating sa buhay ko.. hinahanap mo ba ako?

malungkot ako ngayon. sana nandito ka na.

sana tayo na..

ikaw na ba? ikaw na sana...


siguro...traffic lang talaga.

is PMS-ing bad?

i'm lonely. i'm sad.

i need a drop of serotonin. maybe one year of sobriety won't change a thing once i visit paradise lost?


*sigh*

one year today..

one year of solitude.

one year of "me first before anyone else"

one year of "no one's going to rescue me but me"

one year of tears and laughter and pleasure AND a great deal of pain.

one year of celibacy and sobriety.


i wonder...

one year from now.....what's in store for me?